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In this blog you will find the many motivations behind the hoarding lifestyle so maybe those who are not hoarders can understand the mind o...
Saturday, January 26, 2019
Why it is so hard to get rid of stuff for Hoarders?
Hello readers,
I am sharing with you why it is so hard for us to get rid of items our loved ones deem "Trash" and they don't understand why we cannot get rid of said items. So be sure to share this with your loved ones who are calling all your treasures "trash" so they can be clued in as to why it is so hard to just get rid of everything.
Alright, 1. When the hoarder acquired said "Trash" they had hopes and dreams for the said item. Big plans to make something with it. Or do something with it. Similarly, you can compare said purging of said "trash" with a miscarriage because the parents involved had dreams for the child and hopes for the child, so its just hard for the Hoarder to just throw it away or donate it.
And 2. We need as hoarders to realize that if we haven't made anything with said "trash" by now, we probably won't ever get around to it and it isn't blessing us it is actually hindering us from pursuing any projects, for the simple fact that if we haven't touched it or seen it in 5 years and even still you can go down to within the year of even thinking about said project until seeing the item while digging through the hoard doesn't mean that you should keep said item. What you need to keep in mind when purging our treasures is 1. the dreams and hopes will fade. 2. the really strong dreams and hopes you can put into a pile to later come back to and go through the 2nd time. sometimes a 3rd or 4th time is required to dwindle down the hoard into on categories. so one would be "Keep" another would be "throw away" and another to be called "put away" I am going to add another category which will help aid said hoarder to really think through keeping some of the items and the supervisor of the purge needs to make them really think about said items in the category "on the fence" feeling the slight fondness for an item it can go here for the moment so that way you can come back to it later and really see how much stuff you are not sure about. Most likely this category can be purged for the most part but the hoarder has to be on board and it cannot be impulse actions as this could cause the hoarder to crumble in anxiety.
We hoard because we have hopes and dreams to make something or do something with a bunch of stuff most people would call "trash" But I want you to take one of the said projects and complete just one...so you gotta prioritize your hoard of these type items so you can decide what to do first...and I mean it you HAVE to finish said project so be sure you pick wisely. Once you are finished with said project decide if really you want to proceed with other projects and THEN get rid of what you don't really want to finish because finishing said projects will give a sense of accomplishment and that is exactly what we want we want to feel accomplished so we take on so many projects and overwhelm ourselves and it ends up not blessing us, no it is quite the opposite it causes us to experience anguish, anxiety, and lots of other negative emotions including and not limited to depression. It is a trigger for lots of things that are not pleasant so you need to get through your hoard on your own or ask a friend to help keep you on track and on point with your goal...so get your piles 1. keep 2. throw away 3. put away and 4. come back to. Then have at it! you need to declutter your home asap it is an emergency! I am going to do the same so lets go baby!
Sincerely,
Beka Jo D
Thursday, December 27, 2018
Getting rid of stuff is equivalent to miscarriage hear me out
Alright, so when we get rid of things, we are not just getting rid of things, but also a dream we had. The intent to do something was established when we bought it. Similarly when one discovers they are expecting a child, these Hope's dreams and intents start to surface and then the unexpected happens the child is deathly sick because of deformity or they are stillborn or miscarried, it's not just a child we never met it's not just a fetus nor is it just tissue as some call it. It had purpose it had a dream it had Hope's and most importantly it had someone who loved it so deeply. So when approaching us with getting rid of our stuff...in all actuality you are asking us to get rid of our dreams.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
June 14, 2017 update
Hello Fellow Hoarders,
How is your dwindling down the hoard going with you all? We are still making bit by bit progress and adding to it and removing some here and there...silly really. But its how we roll right? Them impulse buys always get me and my husband splurging.
What have you been doing lately? I am sorry I been very busy with watching a tree trimmer cut down a huge tree outside our home and then stressed as he was I thought I would be nice and give them the rest the money owed to get their rent paid and bills paid and then yeah they never have returned yet. Kinda disheartening got tons of brush to bundle now instead of them hauling it off for us like we were told and the stacked up wood never got stacked either and the small pieces sliced off for tables for me to make were not cut like promised...I am and have been very depressed...because of it and because its so overwhelming of a mess out there but been piddling with it...here and there.
Anyways hope your life is going well for you all!
God Bless!
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo
How is your dwindling down the hoard going with you all? We are still making bit by bit progress and adding to it and removing some here and there...silly really. But its how we roll right? Them impulse buys always get me and my husband splurging.
What have you been doing lately? I am sorry I been very busy with watching a tree trimmer cut down a huge tree outside our home and then stressed as he was I thought I would be nice and give them the rest the money owed to get their rent paid and bills paid and then yeah they never have returned yet. Kinda disheartening got tons of brush to bundle now instead of them hauling it off for us like we were told and the stacked up wood never got stacked either and the small pieces sliced off for tables for me to make were not cut like promised...I am and have been very depressed...because of it and because its so overwhelming of a mess out there but been piddling with it...here and there.
Anyways hope your life is going well for you all!
God Bless!
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Update (Long past due for one) 10-26-16
Sorry guys been slacking on updating but without feedback (comments) I just can't find the motivation to post so please do comment or at least vote if the post made you laugh or whatever below the posts so I know its worthy of people's time or not so I feel like I am posting good content that you all wish to read or if I should alter myself back to the mindset explanations or whatever it is that majority wish to read about thank you for your time and feed back as it will help me entertain you better in the future :)
With that said here is my Update:
As usual its a slow process of purging items. Feels as though we take one step forward and two steps back when we go to drop off donations and then hey why not go in and see if they have such and such and then end up leaving with more stuff than we dropped off ugh...toxic process let me tell you. I should just have a friend or family member go and drop off my donations for me and be done with it.
So Halloween is approaching and we have dug out all our decorations and incomplete costumes because this year its whatever we got is all you got to wear this year no buying new ones...so kids got creative and put a few different costumes together...it works. But purging those that don't fit or that my daughter probably won't use in her future is what needs to happen this year. So before we box up everything to store again for next year. Plan is to go through and get rid of all that don't fit or won't fit next year as well as get rid of things a little girl wouldn't be interested in wearing EVER lol...and hope to down the amount of boxes that end up being stored for next year. Wish us luck!
I got rid of a few stuffed animals...I know one of the hardest tasks to tackle is getting rid of the so cute and many memory animals...then they sit in a bag by the door and slowly the kids get them out one by one and then your 3 bags go down to one and you don't understand what happened...and you can't remember what you decided to get rid of...you know the hold on to it and if you love it and blah blah blah thing yeah I did that with each...it helps but not at the same time...because I love so many lol...anyways...
The paper nightmare is still being added to and slowly diminished only to add more to the piles of overwhelming nightmare...you don't know what to keep anymore...you mind goes numb reading all the garbage but you don't want to throw out important papers...then you have sentimental papers kids school work and drawings...sure you could maybe get a photo album that holds standard printer paper so the artwork etc can be inserted into it for easy reminiscing for you, guests, and your child. Good thoughts but saving them in a box to file into said book later is just going to grow bigger and bigger into an overwhelming heap of an overwhelming task...if you can't sit down to do this activity as you sift through your piles of papers then likely you ain't going to get around to doing it. You have to sit down and designate places for each category and have the book ready for insert of the treasures as you go. You can organize them later if you must but usually order just gets boring...jumping from decade to decade makes things exciting. and comparison to a 3 yr old vs the 11 yr old in front of you is totally adorable ;) so yeah don't obsess just do it.
Books ugh so many books you could fill a library room full of books like the one on beauty and the beast video with the ladder and all lol...what to get rid of? how to get rid of them? um there are apps out there that you can scan the bar codes and see if they are worth anything if you wanna obsess and spend hours on end sifting through and then decide if you really want to sell it or you rather keep hold of it. I tell you one thing books are losing value IMHO and the longer you hold on to them you would think they would be of more value but so far I haven't found this to be true unless they are of popular author but even still depending on the edition depends on the value. Sifting through the books is like oooh my son would love to read this or daughter someday...so you hold on to it...but they end up just sitting on the shelf collecting dust because they rather go to the library to rent books to loose for months so you have to pay fines lol...so little library outside your home? or find one in your neighborhood or a school and drop off some of those treasures for someone who would be more appreciative of the dust collector :) Just an idea.
Clothes still need gone through and diminished mainly because the chore of cleaning all the clothes has become daunting and overwhelming. So how many of each type clothes does one person actually need? short sleeved shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, dresses, nice business suits, shoes, socks, undies, bras, PJs? what else am I missing? I personally wanna at have maybe a month worth of clothes so 30 of each would be a good start for our hoard and then work our way down to maybe 2 weeks worth...I mean we actually re-wear a lot of our wardrobe without thought anyway...why is it so hard to get rid of excess clothes anyway? we rarely wear most of them anyway! Why is it so hard?! That one item that doesn't fit but you wish you could fit back into so you keep hold of it as a goal wardrobe that probably won't happen and if it happens the thrill of finding it fits is sure fun buuuut while you are not using it someone else could be using it and enjoying it and hey maybe when you finally can fit that size your taste changed or there is no occasion that suits the outfit...best to purge and then when you lose weight or gain weight whichever you can purge the clothes you no longer fit and get new ones to replace but not over replace the wardrobe you lost. and just keep recycling it out and in as your fluctuate in your battle for your perfect body size that you never quite ever will be happy with because society has an image placed in many of our minds that is beautiful and we never can fit in that small window of perfection...I say stop striving for that perfection that doesn't exist...we are who we are...and that is perfect for us....even if it means we change wardrobes every year because of changes in our bodies. We got this!
I did get rid of the baby toys my daughter still plays with some but most I got rid of...I am proud of myself for that one...Still have way too many toys to sift through and get rid of but its a start and I will take the baby step and gesture :).
My husband has been purging and adding as I have too...out with the old in with the new...ugh...when will we ever learn that someday may never come and even if its a great deal we have no place to store it until it is needed?! ugh! the madness has to stop someday! I have an idea why don't people stop having crazy % off sales and leave us crazy people alone? bwhahahaha
Anyways, if you like my blog please let me know and I will be sure to try harder to post more often and even be motivated to do more with my hoard and try and encourage you and your hoard to diminish as well. If you find what I said helpful vote it helpful! below this post. etc. there is also a poll on the right to tell me who is seeking out my blog so I can write to those in particular audiences so I can help those who are interested in this subject.
Also comment your questions below I will be more than happy to do a Q and A blog post for those interested in having their questions answered. Thank you for your time and sorry again for the lack of promised posts, I hope you understand the feedback is what keeps me fueled and there is none so I am not fueled to post...so do participate in the subject and comment rate and subscribe! Thanks a million!
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo
With that said here is my Update:
As usual its a slow process of purging items. Feels as though we take one step forward and two steps back when we go to drop off donations and then hey why not go in and see if they have such and such and then end up leaving with more stuff than we dropped off ugh...toxic process let me tell you. I should just have a friend or family member go and drop off my donations for me and be done with it.
So Halloween is approaching and we have dug out all our decorations and incomplete costumes because this year its whatever we got is all you got to wear this year no buying new ones...so kids got creative and put a few different costumes together...it works. But purging those that don't fit or that my daughter probably won't use in her future is what needs to happen this year. So before we box up everything to store again for next year. Plan is to go through and get rid of all that don't fit or won't fit next year as well as get rid of things a little girl wouldn't be interested in wearing EVER lol...and hope to down the amount of boxes that end up being stored for next year. Wish us luck!
I got rid of a few stuffed animals...I know one of the hardest tasks to tackle is getting rid of the so cute and many memory animals...then they sit in a bag by the door and slowly the kids get them out one by one and then your 3 bags go down to one and you don't understand what happened...and you can't remember what you decided to get rid of...you know the hold on to it and if you love it and blah blah blah thing yeah I did that with each...it helps but not at the same time...because I love so many lol...anyways...
The paper nightmare is still being added to and slowly diminished only to add more to the piles of overwhelming nightmare...you don't know what to keep anymore...you mind goes numb reading all the garbage but you don't want to throw out important papers...then you have sentimental papers kids school work and drawings...sure you could maybe get a photo album that holds standard printer paper so the artwork etc can be inserted into it for easy reminiscing for you, guests, and your child. Good thoughts but saving them in a box to file into said book later is just going to grow bigger and bigger into an overwhelming heap of an overwhelming task...if you can't sit down to do this activity as you sift through your piles of papers then likely you ain't going to get around to doing it. You have to sit down and designate places for each category and have the book ready for insert of the treasures as you go. You can organize them later if you must but usually order just gets boring...jumping from decade to decade makes things exciting. and comparison to a 3 yr old vs the 11 yr old in front of you is totally adorable ;) so yeah don't obsess just do it.
Books ugh so many books you could fill a library room full of books like the one on beauty and the beast video with the ladder and all lol...what to get rid of? how to get rid of them? um there are apps out there that you can scan the bar codes and see if they are worth anything if you wanna obsess and spend hours on end sifting through and then decide if you really want to sell it or you rather keep hold of it. I tell you one thing books are losing value IMHO and the longer you hold on to them you would think they would be of more value but so far I haven't found this to be true unless they are of popular author but even still depending on the edition depends on the value. Sifting through the books is like oooh my son would love to read this or daughter someday...so you hold on to it...but they end up just sitting on the shelf collecting dust because they rather go to the library to rent books to loose for months so you have to pay fines lol...so little library outside your home? or find one in your neighborhood or a school and drop off some of those treasures for someone who would be more appreciative of the dust collector :) Just an idea.
Clothes still need gone through and diminished mainly because the chore of cleaning all the clothes has become daunting and overwhelming. So how many of each type clothes does one person actually need? short sleeved shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, dresses, nice business suits, shoes, socks, undies, bras, PJs? what else am I missing? I personally wanna at have maybe a month worth of clothes so 30 of each would be a good start for our hoard and then work our way down to maybe 2 weeks worth...I mean we actually re-wear a lot of our wardrobe without thought anyway...why is it so hard to get rid of excess clothes anyway? we rarely wear most of them anyway! Why is it so hard?! That one item that doesn't fit but you wish you could fit back into so you keep hold of it as a goal wardrobe that probably won't happen and if it happens the thrill of finding it fits is sure fun buuuut while you are not using it someone else could be using it and enjoying it and hey maybe when you finally can fit that size your taste changed or there is no occasion that suits the outfit...best to purge and then when you lose weight or gain weight whichever you can purge the clothes you no longer fit and get new ones to replace but not over replace the wardrobe you lost. and just keep recycling it out and in as your fluctuate in your battle for your perfect body size that you never quite ever will be happy with because society has an image placed in many of our minds that is beautiful and we never can fit in that small window of perfection...I say stop striving for that perfection that doesn't exist...we are who we are...and that is perfect for us....even if it means we change wardrobes every year because of changes in our bodies. We got this!
I did get rid of the baby toys my daughter still plays with some but most I got rid of...I am proud of myself for that one...Still have way too many toys to sift through and get rid of but its a start and I will take the baby step and gesture :).
My husband has been purging and adding as I have too...out with the old in with the new...ugh...when will we ever learn that someday may never come and even if its a great deal we have no place to store it until it is needed?! ugh! the madness has to stop someday! I have an idea why don't people stop having crazy % off sales and leave us crazy people alone? bwhahahaha
Anyways, if you like my blog please let me know and I will be sure to try harder to post more often and even be motivated to do more with my hoard and try and encourage you and your hoard to diminish as well. If you find what I said helpful vote it helpful! below this post. etc. there is also a poll on the right to tell me who is seeking out my blog so I can write to those in particular audiences so I can help those who are interested in this subject.
Also comment your questions below I will be more than happy to do a Q and A blog post for those interested in having their questions answered. Thank you for your time and sorry again for the lack of promised posts, I hope you understand the feedback is what keeps me fueled and there is none so I am not fueled to post...so do participate in the subject and comment rate and subscribe! Thanks a million!
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
update November 18, 2015
With health issues it has been a struggle along with unexpected repairs that needed done around the house and rent house...not to mention birthdays and holidays and seems like every weekend kids want someone to spend the night sometimes two kids to spend the night...ugh...by the end of it all I am really run down as is with my health but we have been putting out 2 steps forward progress with dwindling down the hoard and of course adding to it with one step back but over all I think we are improving. It has always been a challenge to do anything with a toddler running around...but like I said we are working hard and getting places but still taking steps back along the way...very slow process this de-hoarding is...but long as there are steps going forward...I hope that we will catch up and dwindle it down enough to manageable and then never accumulate such a massive hoard ever again....yeah right...ok more reasonable agreement would be to bring in 1 thing 2 things have to go out...and there has to have a immediate need for said item to come in not a project down the line. I have decided to start making the building block blankets I make and asked some friends for any old yarn they weren't using to get me started then sell the ones I make from those and buy supplies to build more and more and make that my income....to help out around here...
I have taken up a game I really enjoy but I don't understand why I am not getting credit for recruiting people I recruited several people one I know is already required level in game play for me to get credit but I didn't get credit...just disheartening for me...I was counting on getting the badge and now I am dwindled down on my invites and there is no way for me to invite anyone else and get credit...so I guess I won't be getting that badge...oh well the rest of the game is great it gets me out of the house and meeting up with new people and socializing it has been a much needed thing added to my life. My husband also found a movie lover club to attend rare big screen showings of movies he never got to enjoy on the big screen so we are both doing our own things that we enjoy and that is good.
Anyways talk to you later.
hope you all are doing better with your hoards than we are...
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo D
I have taken up a game I really enjoy but I don't understand why I am not getting credit for recruiting people I recruited several people one I know is already required level in game play for me to get credit but I didn't get credit...just disheartening for me...I was counting on getting the badge and now I am dwindled down on my invites and there is no way for me to invite anyone else and get credit...so I guess I won't be getting that badge...oh well the rest of the game is great it gets me out of the house and meeting up with new people and socializing it has been a much needed thing added to my life. My husband also found a movie lover club to attend rare big screen showings of movies he never got to enjoy on the big screen so we are both doing our own things that we enjoy and that is good.
Anyways talk to you later.
hope you all are doing better with your hoards than we are...
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo D
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Update 08-29-2014
Well, we are moving within the month of Sept (we hope)...so far we have made multiple trips to the thrift stores dropping donations off down sizing along the way, and I've been getting rid of things long since forgotten that I had intentions of doing something with some day that never came in the 3 years of living here so...yep time to say goodbye.
Its hard believe me...and I've even thought if I start it now then I'd have to keep it to finish it...but no I refrained and got rid of it instead...are you proud of me? I know I'm proud of myself.
I plan to keep this attitude I haven't touched it in three years it has to go...hopefully my sentimental items aren't too many this go round...my memory is failing me and I'm seeing that as a blessing...the things I have no use for that's sentimental I will take pictures of and donate...and eventually print them and put in an album someday...anyway...just wanted to give you a report...
Hope to blog more often soon...
Talk to you later,
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Progress 10-01-2013
Well been slow moving but still making some progress...life kinda puts things on the back burner for us at times...but today I dropped off a car booster seat and a handful of clothes we no longer need and have thrown away (yes threw in the trash) broken toys! Huge step for us! I know to the normal person that seems silly they are broken so no use to anyone but our thoughts about the broken is maybe someone could fix it and it wouldn't fill up the landfill...donating these broken things though the people going through them probably throw them away anyway and that has been easier for someone else to make that call for us...but we actually did it! Yes there was anxiety involved...but we lived...you can live through it too! Just bite the bullet and say no one has time to fix said object heck we never had time to...so just toss it.
Anyway, comment your progress on your hoard below I am proud of you all for whatever it is you accomplished in getting rid of or refusing to purchase or pick up from the curb or trash dumpster...you are strong and can over come this and have a clutter free life someday! Yes it's slow moving, time consuming, and easier to just put things off...but you and I both know it has to be done, and we know anyone else who does it for us will just make us angry so we have to just buckle down and do it ourselves. Anxiety induced by our own actions sure beats anxiety that's induced by someone else's actions that also cause anger and hurt and insult to us...so you need to face it and overcome it on your own...and you can do it! Just keep at it! I'm proud of you!
Talk to you later!
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo
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